Relational Responsibility

During my college years, which were last year and the three preceding years, I was involved with the Milledgeville house church.  It was like a Christian campus organization, but it wasn’t affiliated with anyone but the people who chose to come and make it happen.  We met on Tuesday nights, and we straddled the concept of being an event for people to come to and a community of people who did more than just meet on Tuesday night.  It was a somewhat undefined and amorphous thing, and there were many friend groups that comprised the house church, but there seemed to be a cyclical appearance of issues.  Somebody was always upset about something (as you see in most churches and other organizations, for that matter).

The main issue house church people had with house church was not an issue, in my opinion, with the organization of house church, but with individual behavior.  New and younger people involved in the group felt left out and wanted to be invited to stuff.  They were invited to stuff, but no matter what you say or do, these people figure out a way to feel uninvited and unwanted.  There seemed to be a distinction between new people and the established group, the “in group,” as it is sometimes seen (being a house church leader, this distinction seemed to be a perception rather than a reality).

Being home from college and attempting to spend time with friends has been a whole new ball game than college.  It was so much easier then; I’d just walk upstairs or across the hall to hang out with my friends who lived in my house.  This was typically how everyone tended to function, as far as I know, after moving out of the dorms.  Now that I’m back in Atlanta and living at my parents house while I look for a job, I’m not regularly seeing my friends… just my parents.  Every time I have seen a friend (aside from my fiancee), it’s because I established contact and I made a plan to get together with said friend.  The reason I said, “I,” so many times in that sentence was because I want to make my point here…

The responsibility falls on my shoulders to make sure things happen in my life.

I think this applies to everyone: me, you, Old McDonald, everyone.  Our “default settings” seem to take the path of least resistance, which looks like us graduates sitting at home with our parents until we get so stir crazy that we absolutely HAVE to DO SOMETHING.  I’ve only carried out about half the plans with my buddies that I’ve made since being home, but I have only one friend who has taken the initiative to see me…

otherwise it has always been my directive.
So this is what I have to say…

Stop complaining about what someone else is or isn’t doing, get over your insecurities about how people might or might not feel about you, and do what you want to do.  It’s their responsibility to reach out to you and it’s your responsibility to reach out to them, but

you can’t control what I do.

You can only control what you do.  Don’t wait on everyone else to live your life for you.  Part of growing up is learning how to make your own decisions and taking responsibility when other people refuse to.  So let’s all just learn to be better at this, and this issue can cease to exist in the process.


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